ABOUT THE WORDS “INVOLVE & INVOLVING”
 

In reading a comment that was posted, I realized that there is a long history of misconception and misuse of the word ”INVOLVE” which has greatly contributed to the evolution of the current family breakdown. As I see it, there are 2 types of 'involvement' that people can choose in any conflict.

NEUTRAL & POSITIVE INVOLVEMENT:

This one serves in resolving family issues peacefully, or to pre-empt a developing issue. It is the kind of preventive involvement that exists in all strong families, and it is usually mediated through open and honest communication by either a matriarch, patriarch, or other elder of a family. In our family, that person used to be my mother and late matriarch Anna Rose Victor. But currently, we do not have any.

Then there is.....

NEGATIVE INVOLVEMENT & INTRUSION:

It is the destructive type, with people injecting themselves uninvited into someone else private life to create division, or people becoming part of the problem after the fact by siding with one side against the other.

But there are also those with an attitude of indifference, and who ignore warning signs they observe, or warnings signs brought to their attention. So, like a benign tumor left untreated grows into a deadly cancer, the past attitude of ignoring my early warnings of intrusion in my life & marriage, allowed them to grow into this cancer that eroded the family. Then as I started to expose the cancer, and questioned how and why it was allowed to spread, I get comments like: “Why are you blaming us & involving us”.

Even when I told my nephews who were totally uninvolved “NOT TO LET THEMSELVES BE PULLED IN, OR GET INVOLVED”, hey ignored my advice, and stupidly allowed themselves to get pulled in, and used as the front line of attack after the fact. For example:

• FIRST: By staging the “Blocked phone to control” false arrest.

• THEN creating the “Drug Addict Character Assassination” with a staged & secretly taken picture to present me as such.

• THEN executing a shameful eviction from my sister's house. An act that forever puts them & the family's name in the halls of shame.

• And the long list goes on...

In the end, their full-scale, after the fact involvement turned a still manageable dispute into the major catastrophe of today. So was my warning to “NOT GET INVOLVED” meant “GET INVOLVED” in the English language?

Then, as I questioned my daughter's strange behavior, I discovered that even my ex-wife Paulette was “negatively involved”,  so was my other nephew's wife Donna. Both seeming to know more about life inside my marriage than me. Even to the point of telling me to “Go look into a mirror” to see what caused my problems. So I did, and this is what I saw.

, AGAIN, WAS THAT ME "INVOLVING" ALL THESE PEOPLE IN MY PRIVATE LIFE WITH MY WIFE?

So, finding myself under major assault, and this horror show too much for one man to handle privately, I decided to start sharing it with the larger family & those in the community who know me best. So on father's day 2018, after a long 2.5 years of keeping the attacks private, I started to expose the conspiracy at www.theclaudes.com

HERE IS THE BIG POINT:

NOWHERE, NO TIME, NO PLACE in my writings can anyone say that I asked him/her to get involved, or to do anything for me, or even requested an opinion from anyone. So, how I involved anyone remains a mystery. Even more, how does someone get involved simply from reading the story?,. In fact, such feeling could be viewed as being partial to those portrayed in the story.

IN CLOSING I WOULD SAY

We always hear that we should get involved in our town, children's school, church, family, etc., as without that positive involvement, the result can be chaos. Which is exactly where this family is today. THEREFORE, MUCH TOO LATE FOR ANYONE TO GET, OR BE INVOLVED.

From Wife to Daughter: “The Uninvited Involvement”

Now, from day one of the problem exploding in Jan. 2016,”NOT ONE person in the family asked what happened, or denounced any of the outrageous acts committed, nor things said & written within the family”.

Not even the act of turning against me, a daughter who never once had an issue with her father. Then for some strange reason, everyone, from my older sister Liliane on down, is keeping silent, refusing to get me answers as if that was normal.

NOPE! it is not normal. Neither is it normal for my resolve in getting answers through exposing the story  to be viewed as trying to involve people after the family has collapsed. 3 years later.

MY PERSONAL SENTIMENTS

In the end, I have to confess a weakness of an emotional nostalgia for the great & unified family that used to be. A longing for the days of our frequent long trips to Boston in van packed with family members, when we all got involved in lively conversations about each member's personal issues. From husbands & wives open to discuss marital issues, to 2 daughters dealing with the restrictive rules of an iron-fist father. All this positive involvement mediated by our late matriarch Anna Rose Victor on 6 hours trip each way. And no one complained about family involvement.

But with the current elder of the family siding with the negative involvement camp that resorts to police and courts to inflict punishment rather than solutions, we see what happens to a family that no longer has a leader to champion positive involvement.